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İngilizce Fıkra İngilizce Fıkra
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Merhaba müritler okulda bir yarışma var . Elinizde yada bildiğiniz komik fıkralar varsa bekliyorum yardımcı olursanız sevinirim...
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ali say hi
and ayşe say fuck.
ali say are you sure
ayşe yes
hehe
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patates bunu yazdı:
-----------------------------ali say hi
and ayşe say fuck.
ali say are you sure
ayşe yes
hehe
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:D:D:D -
patates bunu yazdı:
-----------------------------
ali say hi
and ayşe say fuck.
ali say are you sure
ayşe yes
hehe
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hacı bana güzel fıkralar lazım bu ne ya :) -
haklısında ingiliz ve amrikanların espiri anlayışı böle ben ne yapayım:)
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two factory workers are talking. the woman says, i can make the boss give me the day off. the man asks “and how would you do that?” the woman says “just wait and see” she then hangs upside-down from the ceiling. the boss comes in and screams “what are you doing?” the woman answers, “im a light bulb.” the boss then adds “you’ve been working so much that you’ve gone crazy. i think you need to take the day off.” the man begin to follow her and the boss shouts “Where are you going?”.. the man says, im going home i cant work in the dark.”
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patates bunu yazdı:
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haklısında ingiliz ve amrikanların espiri anlayışı böle ben ne yapayım:)
-----------------------------dostum ondan değil amerikan ingilizcesi ile yazmışsın o yüzden anlayamadılar:)
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vcHfPpLGWB4&feature=related
Beni en çok güldüren fıkra buydu :)) -
patates bunu yazdı:
-----------------------------
ali say hi
and ayşe say fuck.
ali say are you sure
ayşe yes
hehe
-----------------------------ayşe say: hi
ali say: i wanna fuck you
ayşe say: fuck off son of a bitch
ali say: what i said ? :/
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patates bunu yazdı:
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haklısında ingiliz ve amrikanların espiri anlayışı böle ben ne yapayım:)
-----------------------------Yok be birader, on senedir amerikada yasiyorum hic boyle bir fikra olcagini zannetmezdim. Bu bir turkun fikrasi gibi. :)
FIkra 1
What would you say?
A farmer named Clyde had a car accident. In court, the trucking company's fancy hot shot lawyer, was questioning Clyde. "Didn't you say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine,'?" asked the lawyer.
Clyde responded, "Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my favourite cow, Bessie, into the..."
"I didn't ask for any details", the lawyer interrupted. "Just answer the question, please. Did you, or did you not say, at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine!'?"
Clyde said, "Well, I had just got Bessie into the trailer and I was driving down the road...."
The lawyer interrupted again and said, "Your Honour, I am trying to establish the fact that, at the scene of the accident, this man told the Highway Patrolman on the scene that he was just fine. Now several weeks after the accident he is trying to sue my client. I believe he is a fraud. Please tell him to simply answer the question."
By this time, the Judge was fairly interested in Clyde's answer and said to the lawyer, "I'd like to hear what he has to say about his favourite cow, Bessie".
Clyde thanked the Judge and proceeded. "Well, as I was saying, I had just loaded Bessie, my favourite cow, into the trailer and was driving her down the highway when this huge semi-truck and trailer ran the stop sign and smacked my truck right in the side. I was thrown into one ditch and Bessie was thrown into the other. I was hurting, real bad and didn't want to move. However, I could hear old Bessie moaning and groaning. I knew she was in terrible shape just by her groans. Shortly after the accident a Highway Patrolman came on the scene. He could hear Bessie moaning and groaning, so he went over to her. After he looked at her, and saw her fatal condition, he took out his gun and shot her between the eyes. Then the Patrolman came across the road, gun still in hand, looked at me, and said, "How are you feeling?" "Now tell me, what the f*#k would you say?"
Baska bir secenek olarak cikip ben fikra yerine amerikada olmus mahkeme olaylarini paylasmak istiyorum diye bilirsin.
These are from a book called "Disorder in the American Courts", and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.
ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
_________________________
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
_________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
_________________________
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
_________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do.
ATTORNEY: You do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.
_________________________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
_________________________
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty.
_________________________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shittin' me?
_________________________
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Uh.... I was gettin' laid!
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ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Are you shittin' me? Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
_________________________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Now whose death do you suppose terminated it?
_________________________
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Guess.
_________________________
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
_________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. Would you like to rephrase that?
_________________________
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.
_________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy on him!
_________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Huh....are you qualified to ask that question?
_________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.
FIkra 3 (eger kisa birsey istiyorsan)
I always hated weddings because the elderly would come over and poke me saying "You're next.". They stopped doing it when I started doing it to them at funerals.
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The Can Me But The, Sea Can Me War :D
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