İngilizce Fıkra
-
En sevdiğim üçü. Not almıştım:
1.
Little Johnny is taking a shower with his mother and says, “Mom, what are those things on your chest?”
Unsure of how to reply, she tells Johnny to ask his dad at breakfast tomorrow, quite certain the matter would be forgotten. Johnny didn’t forget. The following morning he asked his father the same question. His father, always quick with the answers, says, “Why Johnny, those are balloons. When your mommy dies, we can blow them up and she’ll float to heaven.”
Johnny thinks that’s neat and asks no more questions. A few weeks later, Johnny’s dad comes home from work a few hours early. Johnny runs out of the house crying hysterically, “Daddy! Daddy! Mommy’s dying!”
His father says, “Calm down, son! Why do you think Mommy’s dying?”
“Uncle Harry is blowing up Mommy’s balloons and she’s screaming, ‘Oh God, I’m coming!’”2.
A young couple are out for a romantic walk along a country lane. They walk hand in hand and as they stroll the guy's lustful desire rises to a peak. He is just about to get frisky when she says, "I hope you don't mind but I really do need to pee."
Slightly taken aback by this vulgarity he replies, "OK. Why don't you go behind this hedge."
She nods agreement and disappears behind the hedge. As he waits he can hear the sound of nylon knickers rolling down her voluptuous legs and imagines what is being exposed. Unable to contain his animal thoughts a moment longer, he reaches a hand through the hedge and touches her leg. He quickly brings his hand further up her thigh until suddenly and with great astonishment finds himself gripping a long, thick appendage hanging between her legs.
He shouts in horror, "My God Mary ... have you changed your sex?"
"No," she replies. "I've changed my mind, I'm having a shit instead"3.
One day a kid was sitting at home waiting for his relatives to come over. He overheard his parents fighting with each other yelling "YOU BITCH" "YOU BASTARD".
Being so young, the kid had never heard those words before and asked his parents what they meant. They replied by saying "Bitch means lady and bastard means gentlemen". Satisfied with this answer the boy went to his room.
Then he heard the neighbors having sex. They were repeating the words "DICK and "CUNT" over and over and over. Again, the boy was curious and asked his parents what those words meant. Thinking fast, his mother said "Dick means coat and cunt means jackets."
Once again the boy was satisfied with the answer and headed to the bathroom, but his father was shaving and the boy had to wait. Fearing that the boy might wet himself, the father shaved faster. He went a little to quick and ended up cutting himself, "SHIT!!!!!" he yelled. "What's shit mean daddy," the boy asked . The father, stuck for an answer said, "it means shaving cream."
The boy did his "business" and his dad went back to shaving. His next stop was the kitchen, there he saw his mother preparing the turkey. As she reached for a knife she ended up cutting herself. "AW FUCK!!", she yelled. "What's fuck mean mommy", the boy asked. "It means stuffing the turkey."
Finally, the guest arrived, the boy went to the door and said, "Hello bitches and bastards, may I take your dicks and cunts? Dad's in the bathroom putting shit on his face and Mom is in the kitchen fucking the turkey! -
cem yılmazın video süpermiş ya :D
-
CMYLMZ diyosun haci :D
-
diamonique bunu yazdı:
-----------------------------
En sevdiğim üçü....
-----------------------------:D
-
MaTRaX bunu yazdı:
-----------------------------http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vcHfPpLGWB4&feature=related
Beni en çok güldüren fıkra buydu :))
-----------------------------güzell hocam dğr müritlerede çok teşekkür ediyorum elinde olan varsa bir kaç tane daha yazarsa sevinirim yok sada canınız sağolsun
-
@ Badass:
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do.
ATTORNEY: You do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Birçok güzel anekdot yazmışsın da en çok bunu tuttum!
Resmen Koptum Buna Yav :)
Keşke yılbaşından önce okusaydım, belki yıla güle güle ölerek girmiş olurdum :)
-
AnaMuhalefet bunu yazdı:
-----------------------------
@ Badass:
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do.
ATTORNEY: You do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Birçok güzel anekdot yazmışsın da en çok bunu tuttum!
Resmen Koptum Buna Yav :)
Keşke yılbaşından önce okusaydım, belki yıla güle güle ölerek girmiş olurdum :)
-----------------------------:) evet bu kısım çok komikti hacı eee mürtiler başka fkra yok mu ??
-
AnaMuhalefet bunu yazdı:
-----------------------------
@ Badass:
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do.
ATTORNEY: You do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Birçok güzel anekdot yazmışsın da en çok bunu tuttum!
Resmen Koptum Buna Yav :)
Keşke yılbaşından önce okusaydım, belki yıla güle güle ölerek girmiş olurdum :)
-----------------------------muauha :D süper lan :D
-
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x8q1pd_italian-speaking-english_fun
--
An arabic man was interviewed in US Embassy.
Officer:Your name please?
Man: Abdoul Rehman
O: Sex?
M: Six to ten times a week.
O: No, I mean male or female?
M: Both male and female and sometimes camels.
O: Oh my god isn't it hostile?
M: Horse style, doggy style, any style.
O: Oh dear!
M: Deer? No deer, they run too fast.
-
izzmarit bunu yazdı:
An arabic man was interviewed in US Embassy.
Officer:Your name please?
Man: Abdoul Rehman
O: Sex?
M: Six to ten times a week.
O: No, I mean male or female?
M: Both male and female and sometimes camels.
O: Oh my god isn't it hostile?
M: Horse style, doggy style, any style.
O: Oh dear!
M: Deer? No deer, they run too fast.
-----------------------------bu güzeldi, yarışmaya bununla katıl bence
yada cmylmz ın fıkrayı birebir yaz :D
